Exploring Ancestral Traditions: How Prenuptial Agreements Reflect Cultural Respect and Reciprocity

As I have mentioned before, my practice in family law has taken me to new places. While discussing the concept and value of prenuptial agreements with a Canadian education organization I stumbled across the idea that the values of ancestor societies can help individuals understand these modern day documents. To this end I discovered a discussion of the Waitaha people.

I found an article with the title “Understanding Prenuptial Agreement Forms in Illinois: A Guide” on a website called The Frugal Engineers.

The Frugal Engineers is a blog discussing a variety of topics like financial savings, education, personal finance, and more. It suggests ideas and information that can apply in real life situations. Their most recent article tackles the idea of premarital or prenuptial agreements. This article really helps individuals who are preparing to marry understand what agreements mean, and what one may be looking for when completing an important document related to prenuptial agreements.

Waitaha was an iwi in New Zealand. Also known as “The Land of the Long White Cloud,” New Zealand was a highly developed society well over a thousand years ago, when Waitaha’s ancestors first settled. Like many island cultures, their society revolved around the ocean. They were skilled fishermen who learned to read the tides, weather, currents, and migratory patterns of the fish in advance to take advantage of seasonal changes. They also had a rich oral history, which has been preserved because a few members of their tribe still tell traditional stories.

While today we rely on written programs, like this important document related to prenuptial agreements, the Waitaha people had a unique way of relating information from one generation to the next. Sometimes, this communication would take the form of songs that told stories. But it also included specific explanations of what to do, and even how a person would approach the task. Imagine a person getting instruction by listening to a story that includes verses about how to build a fire, what tools are needed, how to hold the tools, and what to watch for. These practical elements are less likely to be communicated with disapproval or expectation than with gentle guidance.

Perhaps the most important cultural concepts to make out of these stories is the reminder to seek peace and practice respect. This was true when a person was born into Waitaha and it was true before a couple committed to a life together. Yes, this is part of your cultural heritage. No, you don’t have to live as they did and feel pressure to relive the ancestor’s decisions. What the Waitaha sought to pass on was a legacy of respect and cooperation.

What do prenuptial agreements have to do with the Waitaha? Every year, talented members of this community would gather together to create new tales about the reality of their lives. The stories often played on words and focused on certain parts of human experience. From this developed what we know as fables. These are memorable stories that have meaning even today.

This doesn’t mean that pre-marital agreements are the same. What it does mean is that you can turn to the agreement to keep things honest, to indicate what your intentions are, and to offer a way to approach problems when they arise. This is a fair exchange for the cooperation presented in their oral traditions.